Just as Much

by Ruth

Hopeless.  Defined by dictionary.com - "impossible to accomplish".

Is that the right word to describe where we are at in our adoption process?

We were short on time when we started the process just over a year ago, and we knew it would be a challenge and that God would have to do a miracle or two for things to happen in time.   And that was BEFORE there was a temporary suspension placed on inter-country adoptions by the Minister of Women & Children’s Affairs in Ghana.

Right now we have about 10 weeks left before it will be too late to file our paperwork.

Hopeless?

Some sure seem to think so.

Jeremiah – the “weeping” prophet, called to minister to Israel when they were at one of their lowest points in history.  Tough job.  And he got to the point where he simply asked, “God, can I trust you?”.

Jeremiah 15:18 – “Why is my pain unending and my wound grievous and incurable?  You are to me like a deceptive brook, like a spring that fails.”

If you haven’t asked this question in your life as of yet, chances are at some point you will.

Job, the man who lost his possessions, family and health, also struggled with this question.

“Does it please you to oppress me, 
to spurn the work of your hands,
 while you smile on the plans of the wicked?” (Job 10:3)”

And yet, in Job 13:15 we find him saying “Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him.”

Really?  Wow.  Now that IS faith.

Mark Batterson says in “The Circle Maker” – “the more opposition we experience, the harder we have to pray, and the harder we have to pray, the more miracles God does.”

We are praying a circle.

We are praying through.

We are praying harder.

We are praying like this depends on God.  Because it does.

But has our situation become hopeless?

We came to the realization we have NO LESS hope than on the day we began this process.

Why?  Although perspectives and circumstances have changed and obstacles have come, God has NOT changed.  His power is still unlimited, and He is still able, and He CAN perform big miracles.

A Special Prayer for Frederick

Meet Josiah.

Josiah is adopted.

Josiah has autism.

Josiah is the grandson of my friend Sue.

Josiah is a cousin to Kadre & Attah, two boys adopted from the same orphanage we are adopting Frederick from (Frederick and Kadre are best friends).

My daughter Brianne and I had the privilege of hanging out with Josiah and his grandparents a few weeks ago.

Josiah felt an immediate connection to Brianne.  Before they even interacted much, he pointed to her and said “You are funny” (we often refer to Brianne as our stand-up comedian).  He remained at her side the rest of our visit.

Josiah pointed to me and said “You are tired”.  While he seemed to get Brianne pretty accurately, I wasn’t really sure I was feeling very tired that evening!   So I don’t know where that came from, but to him I am “the tired one”.

The next day, while Josiah was still at his grandparents, he went to the picture of Frederick on their refrigerator and asked what his name was again.  Sue realized that having met us the night before she could now make a connection for him.  She told him Frederick was going to be Brianne’s brother, and Mrs. Clark’s son (to which he said – “the tired one”) and that we needed to pray that he would be able to come here soon.

Josiah said “He’s brown like me”.

And he sat down and prayed for Frederick.

We are so thankful for all of you, including Josiah, who are praying for us and with us through this journey.

Time to Quit?

by Ruth

Last week we were hoping to hear some good news on our adoption process.  We had asked the orphanage director to see if the adoption could be put through as an “emergency” case, as we had read an article indicating that Social Welfare headquarters in Ghana would consider them during the ban.

After checking, she found there is no way that she can get our case through at this point.   All she could really tell us is what the Ghanaian officials keep telling her, which is “be patient” and “it’s a national issue”.

And we find ourselves asking … is it time to quit?  We are up against some big odds.   If the adoption ban in Ghana is not lifted by mid-November, we will be out of time.

Do we hang in there another couple months?  Do we invest more time, effort and emotions into something that very well could not happen?  Has the door closed?  Is it best to move on for all involved?

As Mark Batterson says in The Circle Maker  - “We give up too easily.  We give up too soon.  We quit praying right before the miracle happens.”

In my heart, I know that I don’t want to give up right before the miracle happens!  That seems to be what this whole adoption journey has been about.  Don’t give up – keep praying – keep circling.  I have felt all along that we shouldn’t give up until there is a definite “no” or until God does the miracle and Frederick here.

And yet we ask ourselves the question … is it time to quit?

Yes, we are still praying our circle.  Every Saturday night, 5:30pm, in the prayer chapel at our church.

Feeling very discouraged after receiving the email from the orphanage director, God brought me to the story of Nehemiah and rebuilding the wall in Jerusalem.

It is a story of persistence.

Nehemiah had a dream.  To rebuild the broken down walls of Jerusalem.  He risked his life and his career to pursue it.

Along the way, he met with external opposition.  Was it time to give up?  Not quite … he prayed and took action.

He met with internal opposition.  Was it time to give up?  Not yet … he prayed and took action.

He met with negativity.  Was it time to give up?  Nope … he prayed and took action.

Almost finished, but no gates yet.  He was met with more external opposition.  Time to quit?  Not now … he prayed and took action.

Nehemiah 6:15,16  “So the wall was completed on the twenty-fifth of Elul, in fifty two days.  When all our enemies heard about this, all the surrounding nations were afraid and lost their self-confidence, because they realized that this work had been done with the help of our God”.

Nehemiah did not quit until the work was done.  The wall was rebuilt.  And everyone recognized that God had been involved –  and He got the glory.

What would have happened if Nehemiah had quit?

Is it time for us to quit?  No, not now, not yet ….

Priceless

By Ruth

Sunday evening Doug and his older brother Blake left for Ghana.   Suddenly our adoption journey feels like it’s coming to life.   We are out of the paperwork phase and now we are into the action part.

The first step is a trip to Ghana, to “bond” with Frederick.  We must do this, or we will not be granted a court date.

After 24 hours of travel, Doug & Blake found themselves in the capital city of Accra Monday evening.  They spent the night in the city, and then next day caught a flight to Kumasi, an hour outside of Offinso, where the Offin Children’s Center is.

Communication is difficult.  A time difference and sketchy internet connections in Ghana make it hard.

Yesterday afternoon (Tuesday, May 21) we got a phone call from Doug.  So good to hear his voice!  He and Blake were playing cards with Frederick and Andrea Edmunds, Evan – her bio son, and her two adoptive boys Joseph and Askia.  From what I understand Joseph and Frederick are good friends – and roommates at the orphanage.

And each of us got to talk to Frederick for a minute - to hear his voice for the first time.  I am not sure I will ever forget the look on Brianne’s face as she talked to her younger brother for the first time – it was – PRICELESS.

And then I have to wonder what it was like when Doug & Frederick met each other for the first time Tuesday afternoon.  Were there hugs?  Was there a "Hi Dad" or a "good to meet you son"?  Were there tears of joy?  Or did they just look at each other in wonder?  What is it like for an orphan boy to look into the eyes of a complete stranger and call him "dad"?

About Mountains by Matthew 17:20

by Ruth

*we are currently "interrupting" our regular blog posts (which to date have been the story of how we were called to adopt and is still a work in progress) because of a current "road block" that has been put in our process.

Matthew 17:20 - "Truly I tell you if you have faith as small mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Here is our "mountain":

This Thursday we were supposed to receive a court date for sometime in May in Ghana. Then he would become our son in Ghana, we would have received the adoption decree a few weeks later, and then would be able to file the final paperwork.

Instead of being given a court date our POA has been told that the court wants us to spend 4 weeks in Ghana bonding with our son before we go to court. IF we do this they will see us in court in July.

This causes two problems. We HAVE to submit our final paperwork by July 1 for the adoption to even be a possibility at all. We knew in advance we would make two trips to Ghana, but this adds a third, along with many additional expenses.

They want us in Ghana on May 15, and to stay for four weeks. I'm sure most of you realize the difficulty in being able to up and leave your jobs and other responsibilities on short notice for a month long period.

This affects not only us but another family that is currently in the process of adopting two teenage boys from the same Children's Center with the same POA. Other adoptions have occurred with this POA in this region and this requirement was not put on those families. No one has heard of this 4 week bonding period being requested before.

We are very thankful for those that have gone before us in the adoption process in Ghana and are working alongside us to see what can be figured out for this situation.

We need a mountain moved. We TRULY appreciate your prayers. There is a boy in Ghana, who wants a family so much "even if it's Norway". He has never been so close to having one, nor ever been so close to losing one.

To summarize:

-Adoption laws in the US are going to be changing soon and are beginning to affect the international adoption process.

-There are some new officials in Ghana that are not for international adoptions. When we started this process Ghana actually seemed like one of the easier countries to adopt from. That may be changing.

-New requirements seem to have come into play since we started our process.

-We are still continuing our process, but there are obstacles, especially with the timing, that are causing us GREAT concern right now.

For Real

by Ruth

We asked Dryden’s for one favor.  To call the director of the home the boy is at, and have her ask him if he still wanted to be adopted, and if he understood it meant not seeing his older sibling again.  The answer came back as yes.

We also asked about his personality from both Dryden’s oldest adopted boy and friend of this kids, and from Mary.

What we heard:  He is nice.  He likes soccer.  He is very helpful.  He is somebody who cracks a joke.  He is very helpful.